Coffee Cup

Story 1: Coffe or Cup?

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and in life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.



When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, theprofessor said: "If you noticed, all the nice lookingexpensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, and that is the source of your problems and stress.




What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eye-ing each other"s cups.


Moral:

Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life and do not change the quality of Life. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee, God has provided."

So, don"t let the cups drive you; enjoy the coffee instead



Story 2: Millions of Stars

A manager and an engineer go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the engineer wakes his manager friend. "
Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The manager replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

The manager ponders for a minute.

" Astronomically speaking, it tells me that
there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately
a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is
all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have
a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The engineer is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".



Moral: It's not about how much you know about everything. It's about how you can make use of what you know to help your situation

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Women as described by Engineers

Right after my previous post, someone sent me these pictures so I can't help it but to post them. Thanks to "phlexo" for the pics. I'm not a sexist so I think I need to stress out that these are only jokes and I'm sincerely apologize for anyone offended.

by the way, just enjoy the pics :)

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Tech Help Desk - True Conversations

This is the kind of jokes that I like the most. Not to hurt anyone, but I personally find it amusing when people failed to adapt to new things, yet they tried (so hard) to act all-knowingly. Enjoy the jokes...



• Tech Support: "What version of the Mac OS are you using?"
Customer: "Word 6.0."

• Tech Support: "What browser are you using, Netscape or Microsoft?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Tech Support: "Could you read to me what it says at the top of the window?"
Customer: "'Global Travel Conference - Microsoft Internet Explorer'."

• Tech Support: "Are you installing on a Mac?"
Customer: "No, I'm using a 3.5" thingee on a disk."

• Tech Support: "This has Windows 98 on it -- did it have Windows 98 or 95 on it when it was sent out for repair?"
Customer: "I think it had Office 97."

• Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"

• Customer: "I keep getting an error message whenever I try using the MSDOS mode in Windows 95."
Tech Support: "Can you describe what happens?"
Customer: "Well, I keep getting a black screen with an error message saying, 'C:\WINDOWS>'."

• Tech Support: "which drive is your CD ROM?"
Customer: "the top one."

• Customer: "Do I hit 'F' and '8' at the same time?"

• Tech Support: "Your password will be...a small 'a' as in apple, a capital 'V' as in Victor, the number '7' "
Customer: "Is that a capital '7'?"

• Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my
keyboard."













here comes more...

• Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

• AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

• Another Compaq technician received a call from a mancomplaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

• Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her efective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

• A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

• Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the send" key.

• Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,"the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

• Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

• A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

• An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked
her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.

• Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"


Sounds familiar? things happen, fellas. sometimes we just need to take things as amusements God sent to us so that we can laugh in the middle of stressful ever-demanding modern life. Take a break, don't kick a cat!

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Woodcutter and Axe - Another Story

Ever heard or read the story about the woodcutter who lost his axe in the river? You know, the one where a fairy came out from the river and offered him golden and silver axe, and by his honesty, he got all of them in the end? yes, that's what I'm talking about. but this is quite the same story with some twist.



Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs
on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He
used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in
the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the
woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Fairy.

The River Fairy wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of
rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the
river.

As usual, the Fairy wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box
and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Fairy's lack of
computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Fairy was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all
three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her,
"Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before
bringing up my own ?"

The River Fairy, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid
donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!". So saying, she disappeared with
the Pentium!!

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better keep
your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth
and remove all doubt . . .

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