Showing posts with label mother-in-law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother-in-law. Show all posts

Friday, May 07, 2010

Mother's Day Quotes

Mother's Day is coming. No matter what kind a mother you have, without her you won't be reading this blog or doing anything you're doing now. You would never be in this world without a mother. Tell your mother that you love and appreciate her, and share the laughter with her, when you (i hope) are laughing reading these:


(for all the mothers out there, you rock!!!)

1. "Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." ~ Author Unknown

2. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger

3. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." ~ Phyllis Diller

4. "There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ~ Chinese Proverb

5. "It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him." ~ Helen Rowland

6. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." ~ Calvin Trillin

7. "A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after." ~ Peter De Vries

8. "It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~ Phyllis Diller

9. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." ~ Oscar Wilde

10. "A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~ Tenneva Jordan

11. "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." ~William D. Tammeus.

12. "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." ~ Author Unknown

13. "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease." ~ LisaAlther

14. "My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay." ~ KareemAbdul-Jabbar

15. "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." ~ Mark Twain

16. "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." ~ Buddy Hackett

via MomScape.com


by the way, my mum is amazing :D
so here's a bonus video (not funny but really good)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Join the queue...

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He respectfully approached the man walking the dog,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."

What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied "Join the queue."