Lines for flirt killer

Some funny way to turn down any flirt when you are not interested... enjoy!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

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Funny love quotes

Love can be funny sometimes...


Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight." - Phyllis Diller

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken


"Once you have loved someone, you'd do anything in the world for them... except love them again." - Anonymous

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

"Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion." - Mirabeau

"Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love." - Yiddish proverb

"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Chamfort

"I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics." - Frank Zappa

"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying." - unknown

"An old man who marries a young wife grows younger - but she grows older." - folk saying

"It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced." - Anonymous

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

"The people people have for friends, Your common sense appall, But the people people marry, Are the queerest folk of all." - Charlotte Perkins Gilman

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for." - Mae West

"A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it." - Don Fraser

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - unknown

"There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: Young, old, and middle-aged." - Anonymous (and with good reason)

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania." - Dorothy Parker

"Marriage is a fine institution - but I'm not ready for an institution." - Mae West

"If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years." - Jay Leno

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen


Taken from About.com

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Shortest Love Story EVER....

ONCE UPON A TIME A GUY ASKED A GIRL
"will you marry me?"
SHE SAID "NO"...........
AND THE GUY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END








I SAID 'THE END'. THE STORY IS OVER. NOW GET YOUR LAZY A** UP AND DO SOME WORK!!!

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*What is love?*

This blog is about jokes, but this post is not. I know it doesn't really fit, but still I foubd it interesting. Several children age from 4 to 8 year-old were asked to defined LOVE and look at their adorable answers....







--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" (Tina - age 7)



--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)



--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4)



--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 )





--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy - age 6 )


A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children was asked, "What does love mean?" The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.


--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )





--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip

before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)



--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still

friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )



--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all

the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the

only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8)





--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine -

age 5)

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