Showing posts with label lawyer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lawyer. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Lawyer's Cigar - a true story

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
Charlotte, North Carolina.

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them
against, among other things, fire.Within a month, having smoked his entire
stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the
insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued.... and WON!







(Stay with me now......... ......... ......... )








Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous!!
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be 'unacceptable fire', and was thus obligated to pay the claim.

So, rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling, and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.








(NOW FOR THE BEST PART........ ....... )









After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of 'intentionally burning his insured property' and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.





moral of the story - What moral? it's all immoral!!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Deaf, Deaf, Lawyer Don

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.


This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.


The Godfather asks the book-keeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.

The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you'retalking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it up and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll x-x-/ you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The book-keeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the lawyer: "Well, what'd he say?"

The lawyer replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!!"