Bash.org Top 20

Bash.org all-time Top 20!

#23396 +(33897)- [X]

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE

<Donut[AFK]> INSULT

<Eurakarte> RETORT

<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT

<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE

<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM

<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE

<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE

<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE

<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE

<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON

<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES

<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD

<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

#5273 +(30069)- [X]

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

#99060 +(28600)- [X]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...

BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH

BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU

BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES

BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES

BlackAdder> IN FACT

BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW

BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE

BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG

*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*

*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

CRCError> right

heartless> Right.

r3v> right

#244321 +(28535)- [X]

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars

<Cthon98> ********* see!

<AzureDiamond> hunter2

<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me

<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******

<Cthon98> thats what I see

<AzureDiamond> oh, really?

<Cthon98> Absolutely

<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2

<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?

<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******

<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that

<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******

<AzureDiamond> awesome!

<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?

<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw

<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

#4281 +(27825)- [X]

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<phxl|paper> and DANCE

* nmp3bot dances :D-<

* nmp3bot dances :D|-<

* nmp3bot dances :D/-<

<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

#5300 +(22680)- [X]

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andy\code> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

#99835 +(22308)- [X]

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?

<TheXPhial> vaccuums

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

<TheXPhial> black holes

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?

<TheXPhial> lava?

#287414 +(21649)- [X]

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk

<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first

<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out

<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh

<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?

<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?

<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.

<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now

<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure

<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this

<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.

quit: (DeadMansHand)

<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day

<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts

join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)

<PeteRepeat> fucking ken

<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot

<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.

<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.

<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.

quit: (PeteRepeat)

<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.

<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

#207373 +(18942)- [X]

<anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)

<anamexis> :<

#414593 +(18167)- [X]

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

#5775 +(17749)- [X]

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole -          

<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

#330261 +(16690)- [X]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b

<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?

<BonyNoMore> wait

<BonyNoMore> never mind

#835030 +(16667)- [X]

<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key

<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!

<Judge-Mental> fuck me

#4753 +(16551)- [X]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

#23601 +(15255)- [X]

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?

<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?

<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

#111338 +(14880)- [X]

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book

<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.

<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."

<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok

<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof

<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all

<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?

<melusine > O_______O

<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

#258908 +(14302)- [X]

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

<Ben174> : Where u work?

<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

#349567 +(14224)- [X]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me

GarbageStan23: why?

Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.

Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!

GarbageStan23: oh shit!

Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever

Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....

Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

#405221 +(14021)- [X]

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert

<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?

<T-Wolf> ya, why man?

<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?

<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

#602698 +(13807)- [X]

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed

<ktp753>ouch.

<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

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Space Shuttle Landing

Space shuttle landing in Cape Town. Quite funny, enjoy!

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Funny Family Quotes

Some funny family quotes, happy Mother's Day!


My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.
- Bob Hope

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. (The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895)
- Oscar Wilde

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to.
- Dodie Smith

I am an only child. I have one sister.
- Woody Allen

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
- Douglas Adams

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
- Victor Borge

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.
- Thomas Jefferson

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
- Charles Dickens

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
- Bernard Shaw

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- Bernard Shaw

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
- Leo Tolstoy

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.
- Shakespeare

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close- knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
- Leo Tolstoy

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
- Jane Howard

I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it.
- Anonymous

The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.
- George Santayana

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.
- Alex Haley

In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family’s story embodies its hope and despair.
- Auguste Napier

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.
- Elizabeth II

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
- Francis Bacon

It is easier for a father to have children than The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.
- Thomas Jefferson

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
- Charles Dickens

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
- Bernard Shaw

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- Bernard Shaw

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
- Leo Tolstoy

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.
- Shakespeare

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close- knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
- Leo Tolstoy

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
- Jane Howard

I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it.
- Anonymous

The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.
- George Santayana

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.
- Alex Haley

In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family’s story embodies its hope and despair.
- Auguste Napier

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.
- Elizabeth II

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
- Francis Bacon

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.
- Pope John XXIII

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended- and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.
- Robert Frost

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

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Funny Easter Eggs

Very simple yet funny easter eggs, taken from Uleven.com

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April Fools Pranks for Work Part V

These's are list of harmless April Fool pranks taken from AprilFoolZone.com

Part I Click HERE
Part II Click HERE
Part III Click HERE
Part IV Click HERE

Part V

Topsy Turvy

This prank is elaborate but fun: Remove all the drawers from the victim’s desk. Flip the entire desk upside down, replace the drawers, then flip the desk back. Now when the victim open the drawers, all the stuff will fall out straight to the floor.

Who's That Guy?

Photoshop his face into a bunch of funny scenarios and put them up all over the office.

Redecor-Hate

First, determine what your victim’s least favorite thing is—sports team, political view, movie, music, etc. Then cover his or her work area with posters and items celebrating that thing. (For example, if he’s a Chargers fan, cover his office with Raiders gear.)

Monkey Trouble

Borrow all the pictures from his desk and office. Scan the photos, and use a photo-editing program to put monkey faces onto everyone’s faces. Print them out and place them back on the victim’s desk.

Pick Up the Phone!

Take a small piece of wire and wrap it around the handset cord of the victim’s phone. Place it so both ends of the cord are attached together. Then wait until the victim receives a phone call and watch while they lift the handset and they pick up the entire phone along with it.

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April Fools Pranks for Work Part IV

These's are list of harmless April Fool pranks taken from AprilFoolZone.com

Part I Click HERE
Part II Click HERE
Part III Click HERE
Part V Click HERE




Part IV

A Call From Above

If you work in an office with a suspended ceiling: Hide his phone in the ceiling tiles above your victim’s desk. When they arrive…give them a call!

Have a Seat

Take all the chairs you can find from other offices, the conference room, etc., and fill up your victim’s office as full as possible.

Oh So Pretty

Replace everything on your (male) victim’s desk with similar items, but make them as “girly” as possible (pink pens, lacy picture frames, bows, flowers, etc.). Remember to change his screen saver too!

Lucky Ducky

Find a small rubber ducky, remove the jug from the office water cooler, and squeeze the duck inside. Replace the jug and wait for the fun!

Blown Away

Put confetti in your victim’s fan (tape the bottom to hold in the confetti if necessary).

Future Flood

Take a cup full of water and a jumbo note card. Hold the note card on top of the cup and turn it over carefully, placing it on your victim's desk upside down. Slide the note card out from underneath and the cup will be stuck there. (But be sure there is nothing nearby that can be harmed if it spills!)

Can You Hear Me Now?

Place a piece of clear tape over the microphone part of the phone. Laugh as your victim struggles to talk to their callers.

Stringing Them Along

Using fishing line or black thread, tie everything on your victim’s desk--stapler, tape dispenser, pencil cup, etc.--to his chair. When he pulls the chair out, everything on his desk will go crashing to the floor! Or, attach everything on your victim’s desk to the back of one or more of his desk drawers (string the line through the holes in the top of the desk). When he open the drawer, all his stuff will go crashing across his desk.

Office Full

This prank is for a co-worker who has an office with a glass window in the door. Find a box slightly bigger than the window, cut off one end and tape it to the door around the window (with the open end at the top). Fill the box with empty cans, balloons, packing peanuts, or other item of your choice. When your victim looks in the window it will look like the entire room is filled! For added effect, put a chair or something behind the door to make it hard to open.

Rude Awakening

Plug a radio into the power strip that your victim’s computer is plugged in to. Turn the volume all the way up. Now turn the power strip off. Your victim will at first be puzzled why their computer won’t turn on; and then will get a big surprise when they flip their power strip on.

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April Fools Pranks for Work Part III

These's are list of harmless April Fool pranks taken from AprilFoolZone.com

Part I Click HERE
Part III Click HERE
Part IV Click HERE
Part V Click HERE




Part III

Trapped in Plain Sight

Take a token item from the victim - place it in a Jello mold, freeze it in a bottle of water, place in the center of a rubber band ball, etc. Keep taking the item and pranking the victim repeatedly.

Where Do I Go?

This trick works great if you work in an office building that has two entrances. Print up two signs that say "Please Use Other Door." Put one on each door, with arrows pointing toward the opposite door.

Pager Madness

If the victim has an alpha-numeric pager, call them up and leave a message like “REPLACE BATTERY,” “PAGER ERROR,” or “SERVICE PAGER.” Call several times in a row.

Stop the Calls

If the victim has a phone with a hook that presses down when the handset is in the cradle, tape it down. When he or she answers a call the phone will keep ringing.

Tidal Wave

Take about 20 (or more) paper or plastic cups, place them on the victim’s desk and fill them with water. Then take a stapler and staple them all together. You can also put the cups on the floor blocking their door, or just about anywhere.

Switcheroo

Remove your victim’s desk chair and replace it with a bench from outside (the heavier the better!).

Just One Please

Take all of the victim’s paperclips and hook them together in one long string.
Submitted by Doug Ely

While You Were Out

Leave a phone message for the victim that says that a “Mr. Lyon” called (or Mr. Behr also works), and wants to be called back. Then list the phone number of the local zoo.

Dude, Where's My Car?

Borrow your victim's car keys and make a duplicate. Then, every day or so, move the car a few parking spaces over, or turn it around so it’s parked backwards in the space. Eventually start moving it to another part of the lot altogether. Classic.
Submitted by Skrivan

Copier Surprise

Print out some pictures of a scantily-dressed girl, or other racy image. Mix them into the paper tray of the office copier or printer. When the victim makes copies, they’ll have a big surprise!

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April Fools Pranks for Work Part II

These's are list of harmless April Fool pranks taken from AprilFoolZone.com

Part I Click HERE
Part III Click HERE
Part IV Click HERE
Part V Click HERE




Part II

Musical Chairs

Take the fancy office chair out of the boss’s office and switch it with the ugliest chair. Whoever had the ugliest chair will probably be happily surprised to see their “new” chair, and the boss will probably be embarrassed to have to come and take it away. Of course, you better make sure your boss has a good sense of humor!

Soft Hat

For a person who is required to wear a hard hat at work: hide their hat replace their hat with one you have painted bright pink, or otherwise decorated in an embarrassing way. Unless they can find someone who will loan them one, they’ll be forced to wear it all day.

Did You Call Me?

If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!

Time Off Trickery

Coordinate everyone in your office to play a practical joke on your boss. Throughout the day, each person should email, voicemail or leave a note for the boss, saying they need extended time off. Each person should give a different explanation: pregnancy, sick family member, etc. Submitted by Jennifer

Invisible Ink

Go into the victim’s office and locate every pencil and pen in their desk. Paint the tips with clear nail polish. When they try to write, none of them will work. (After the prank is revealed, the nail polish can be removed by dipping the pens and pencils in polish remover.)

Take the Call

Use glue to secure the victim’s handset to the phone (be sure to use glue that can be removed…check the label first because some glue will destroy plastic). Then go to a nearby phone, call their number and watch while they lift the entire phone to their ear.

Can You Do It

If he has an overhead bin style cabinet, layer the bottom with paper, then attach the paper to the door (with tape or something) so it comes out when the door to the cabinet is open. Then fill it with empty soda cans. When he opens the door to his cabinet, viola, all the cans will come crashing out and it will be most embarrassing for him.
Submitted by Little Evie

No Comprende

Borrow the victim’s cell phone when they aren’t around and change the language setting to a foreign language. Then watch and laugh as they struggle to translate the setting instructions on their phone.

Strung Up

Attach a string to the back of the victim’s desk drawer. Then run it up the wall, into the suspended ceiling, to a small container attached to the ceiling directly over the victim’s head. When the drawer is opened the string will be pulled, dropping a shower of confetti onto the victim’s head.

Kidnapped

Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.

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April Fools Pranks for Work Part I

These's are list of harmless April Fool pranks taken from AprilFoolZone.com

Part II Click HERE
Part III Click HERE
Part IV Click HERE
Part V Click HERE



Part I:

Clipped

Make some copies of a paperclip. Then put them into the paper tray of the copier. People will go nuts trying to find the paperclip stuck in the printer.

Stale Joke

Buy a box of donuts several days before April 1st. Keep them in the refrigerator with the top open until they are very dried out. On April Fool’s Day put them by the office coffee maker so everyone will help themselves!

Drawer Confusion

Remove the desk drawers in the victim’s desk and switch them around. (If you can’t remove the drawers, just take out the stuff and swap it around.)

Weakling

Steal all the victim’s pens and replace them with pens that have the caps glued on.

Hold My Calls

Coordinate several people to help you play this prank. Have them take turns throughout the day calling the victim and asking for “Larry.” At the end of the day, have someone make the final call and say “This is Larry. Do you have any messages for me?”

Turn It Off!

Find an old toy with button-activated sound (music, baby crying, etc.). Tape it to the back of the victim’s desk drawer, so that when the drawer is completely shut the button is activated. Leave the drawer open a crack, and wait for victim to arrive.

Foiled Again

This office prank should be performed in an office where a lot of people are willing to “gang up” against one victim. Buy several restaurant-size rolls of aluminum foil. Then wait until the victim leaves for the day on March 31. Go into their cubicle or office and wrap everything in foil: desk, chair, computer, books, pencils, etc. If enough people help, this doesn’t take too long. Be sure to take lots of pictures!

Lost Lockers

Do you have lockers at your work? Are they moveable? If so, sneak in the night before April 1st and switch them around. It creates great confusion the next day!

Under Pressure

Tie a piece of cord under the victim’s office chair to hold down the lever that adjusts the chair height. (When you sit on the chair it will slide all the way down, but as soon as you stand up the chair will rise all the way up.) All the ups and downs will drive the victim crazy.

Hurry Up In There

Take a pair of pants, stuff them and attach a pair of shoes. Place them in the bathroom stall so it looks like someone is “sitting.” Lock the door and crawl out under the door. If the bathroom has more than one stall, you’ll need to make enough “dummies” to fill them all. For added effect, make a tape recording of authentic “sound effects” and play it on a loop from inside the stall. This is one of the more elaborate office pranks, but worth the effort!

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